December 31, I was pumped.
I had all the ingredients – a planner, written goals, pronouncements of how things were going to happen, and even a year calendar to chart my progress.
I had invested about 20 hours of the last week of the year to my personal development and how I was going to structure everything – from my exercise goals all the way to my writing goals. All of it planned like an architect’s layout for a skyscraper.
And then it happened, much like all of you.
I got the freaking flu.
Yeah, I did. And I had a busy week at work and with my side work. It all hit at once. So I worked my way through it, but I lost the night and the mornings (because that’s when I felt the worst).
No writing. Exercise, yeah, right. Diet, forget about it! I ate garbage because it was convenient.
What about those updates to the calendar. They all froze. More blank space there than Taylor Swift.
Today was the first day in almost two weeks the I felt somewhat normal again, and I looked and realized I lost about two weeks.
And my first thought was this: what’s the point?
Did you ever feel that way?
Whatever, I’ve had these plans but I’ll just go and revert back to the way I’ve been. What a joke!
But this is the first time I entertained a second thought. Here was the second thought:
So what? Seriously. I started off rocky because I’m sick, but if I do one thing today to keep myself remotely on track, I’d be better than I was two weeks ago.
This is the first time that I’ve really given myself the grace to fail a little. Boy, was it a great moment.
Here are some things I want you to consider about your New Year’s resolutions that you’re about to set on fire and abandon.
1) They aren’t going away. No, not at all. You think that you are just going to be happy with status quo.
Ain’t. Gonna. Happen.
Jon Acuff, New York Times Bestselling Author says “The Dreams that we give up on don’t go away, they become ghosts that haunt us in the quiet moments of our day.”
Yeah, so when you get a free moment, you’re going to say “I should have been at the gym. I should be writing. I should be working on that organizational chart that I had planned.”
You haven’t dropped your resolution, you’ve only deferred it.
For me, it’s getting healthier. I’ve come to the conclusion that even though I haven’t gone to the gym in two weeks, If I just throw that away now, I’m not going to wake up and be like “yeah, good thing I feel like garbage and I have low lung capacity. Good thing I can’t see my feet! Whew! I almost lived a life where a brisk walk didn’t make me have to change my clothes, good thing I took this road.
It’s not going to happen. So the best time to start working on the you that you want to be is today. Don’t defer it. Because on December 31, 2018, you’re gonna be putting the same stuff on the list.
2) Talk to yourself about failing the way you would talk to your friend or your child. This is a great exercise. If I came to you and said, “Hey man, I really messed up this week. I didn’t go the gym. I didn’t eat well either. In fact, I went to taco bell almost every day because of the Chalupas. I couldn’t avoid their tantalizing balance between crispy and chewy.”
What would you say to me? Seriously, what would you tell me?
Now, some of your advice may vary, but here’s what you probably wouldn’t say.
Wow, you are gonna be fat forever. I didn’t realize what kind of a loser you were until we just talked.
Good job on sucking at everything.
Why are you even trying?
You’re selfish, you didn’t even offer me Taco Bell, you self-centered fatty, you.
Maybe you’d say the last one, but probably nicer.
The point is, you wouldn’t talk to me this way. But this is how you’re talking to yourself, isn’t it?
So, instead, say something like this.
Hey, you’ve had a tough week, and I could see how you’d be discouraged, but just jump back in.
Yeah, it’s a struggle for sure, but I’ve seen you overcome struggles before, and once you get started, you kill it!
Dude, I know. I’ve been tempted too, but don’t go too crazy. Make today the day you really begin and just try to do a little better and you’ll get there.
The best conversation you can invest in is the conversation you have with yourself. If you treat yourself like a fat loser who is unmotivated and who will never succeed at anything, your behavior will align with your beliefs.
3) You can change strategy to accommodate setbacks. Okay, so this is huge. When something you are doing doesn’t work, don’t drop the vision or the goal. However, I give you total permission to drop the strategy.
For instance, if you committed to P90X for the first quarter of the year, but you found Day 2 of P90X impossible and you skipped Day 3, and here we are on January 16, and you’re still on Day 2, perhaps P90X is not your best strategy. Perhaps it’s too intense.
Or, if you are going to the gym daily, but you aren’t seeing results or your discouraged at the time investment, perhaps P90X would wok for you because of its intensity.
Strategies are NOT sacred. But don’t give up on your goal. You may simply have to adjust the strategy to help you get there.
That’s it. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t defer the resolutions. Your life isn’t over. And the desire for you to make it better isn’t going away.